How well do you chew the fat?

The language of Shakespeare is the most widely spoken language in the world. Some estimates assert that nearly two billion people can speak English with some degree of fluency. Of course, most of these people speak it as their second, third or even their fourth language. Like any language, idiomatic expressions and sayings can often trip up the non-native speaker, and English contains thousands of such expressions that often interfere with the communication process for second language learners. The higher the education level of the native English speaker generally correlates to the higher usage of a more colorful language, i.e. idiomatic language, proverbs, sayings, and adages. I have always admired people who speak eloquently, employing a rich vocabulary and utilizing expressions, when appropriate.
The television show Frasier illustrates the language difference between the blue-collar father and his two highly educated sons. In many episodes the brothers have to “dumb down” their language and use a less sophisticated language so their father will be able to understand them. This is a form of code-switching, the switching between different registers of language. They obviously are used to the upper echelons of the registers of the English language, utilizing a high level vocabulary and intellectual references that the less educated people, such as their father, would not understand.
I have composed the following brief passage to illustrate how difficult it would be for a second language learner of English to understand someone who spoke exclusively in idiomatic expressions and sayings. I chose to use a vocabulary full of colloquialisms mixed in with a few high-level vocabulary words. The effect is the same. So, with no further ado, let’s get to the point:

After grabbing forty winks I decided it was time to get down to brass tacks. I had already procrastinated long enough, so it was now time to face the music. I needed to compose my thoughts and jot down a few things about how I was going to pop the question to my girlfriend. We had been seeing each other for almost two years now, and I thought it was time I took the bull by the horns and found out where I stood with my main squeeze; I really wanted us to enter a mutual agreement whereupon we decide to become an exclusive item. So, I decided to call her and ask her if we could rendezvous somewhere quaint where we could chew the fat. We agreed to go to a speakeasy since we were both unable to imbibe legally for another year.
I grabbed my dad’s wheels and jammed over to the joint as soon as I could. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole way, but as soon as I saw her I felt like a million bucks. She was dressed to kill and sauntered in as if she were walking down a catwalk. After our brief embrace and shooting the breeze a bit, I knew it was now or never. I had to stick to my guns and tell her what was on my mind, even though I knew she had previously told me that she wanted to keep everything between us status quo. After beating around the bush a bit more, I finally felt relieved when María asked me if there was something I wanted to tell her. I told her yes, and then out of the blue she said, “Do you want us to go steady?” I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t believe how she knew what I was up to, and how she was able to read me like a book.
She then confided in me that she, too, recently had been pondering the same thing, but of course, her mother and father would never approve. However, she then said, “Let’s just run it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes, okay?” I concurred and we then decided to collect our thoughts and make a plan, so we cut ourselves off after the first libation, since we didn’t want to get three sheets to the wind on such an important evening.